Monday, January 18, 2010

Say Hello to My Little Friends

For those of you that have been worried about me making new friends since moving and working from home, fear not. I have lots of new friends now - and the photographic evidence to prove it.

This is my friend Lester. He's just a baby and he's really shy and small. He likes to sun himself of the bricks right outside my kitchen window in my back yard. We met about a week ago.

This is Mantis. I'm not going to lie. We didn't hit it off at first. I really didn't trust or like him at first. I thought he was going to eat Lester. He's that small, that little Manny could eat him.

After Manny didn't eat Lester, we grew closer. He hasn't been around for a few days now though. Maybe I insulted him with my snap judgments about him. Mantis, if you are reading this, I'm sorry and you're welcome in my back yard any time.

Lester says "Hey" almost daily. He doesn't like it when the sun's not out, so I didn't see him today though.

I am so not above bribing to make friends either. I put out a couple of bird feeders. One for humming birds and then another with "Wild Bird Seed" in it. So far I have had one humming bird and that's it. She has a green belly and bottom. She is beautiful. Her name is Emerald. She's been too quick for me to get a pic though. I am beginning to think she doesn't want to be seen with me. We'll see.

AZ has these awesome birds that I have never known before. They are called grackles. They look like small magpies that are solid black, even their beaks, and they have light eyes. Their look has nothing to do with why I like them so much. It's their sound. It's like nothing I have ever heard, and I like it.

I don't know this one's name. They all look alike to me. Is that wrong to say?...

There you have it - and you were worried! Don't you feel foolish?!...... No I haven't been drinking; why?

Monday, January 11, 2010

Taking it Back

So I had an epiphany today. I asked myself why I keep losing my feeling of a need to keep up and improve my quality of life - exercising, eating well, expressing my creativity, fulfilling my family obligations, etc. It's not that I want to and just don't. It's that I stop wanting to, and it's not like a feeling of complacency. The desire just goes.

This cycle is something that has been very prevalent in my life the past few years, but I have never before had the state of mind to realize it and ask "why" at the same time. That is, until tonight. I realized that it's not a matter of desire; it's a matter of ability.

I haven't had much schooling in Psychology but what I have had, I have loved and hung on to some things I've learned for a long time after I learned them. One of these is Maslows Hierarchy of Needs.

The basis behind it is that you have to start at the bottom and you can't have a higher item without having all of the items below first. The highest level is ideal, but most people ebb and flow with where they are in the pyramid throughout their lives.

Personally, I am happiest when I am at the tippy-top of the pyramid. Far too often though, I hover around step two. I have also found that when one aspect is at a certain level, the other aspects of life shortly decrease to the same level as the lowest aspect. For example, when I am working 14 hours a day for multiple days in a row just to keep afloat, my family life, my health, and my social life suffer - greatly and quickly.

It's also keeps me from doing the things that make me happy. Any free time is spent sleeping mostly. My house almost looks the same as it did when we first got here. I don't have a refrigerator or washer and dryer yet. I have no idea what my family is up to. I haven't had time to write about my new environment, place, and life. I had a total of 3 showers last week - I KNOW! I could go on.

I done with it. Extra money is not worth such a drastic, lowered quality of life. I need to get back to me, and in doing so, make my life and those around me better off. I have so much more to give than this. Stay tuned for how I take it back.