Saturday, August 08, 2009

Fairly Great Day

I am soooo punny!

Dillon had the awesome idea to go to the fair today. Nolan, Heather and Thomas (Heather's friend's son) came too. So very fun. It was perfect weather too!

The first thing we did when we got there was the go-carts. While waiting for our turn the fair's royalty were doing photo ops. As they were going to their carts, we noticed one of them was a bit different than the other two. (She's the one in the yellow - they were nice enough to let me get a picture with them.)

They couldn't take off their crowns to wear the helmets, and how could you capture their beauty in those things anyway? Besides, it's not like they were going to be racing, just puttering around for pictures. Well "Miss Special" had a seizure or something and went plowing past the course barricades and slammed into the parking lot curb. She hit so hard her ass went flying out of the seat and slammed back down. I looked like she got pretty bad whiplash too. I actually think she got the brake and the gas pedal mixed up. Sad. Of course, I got a huge laugh out of it but just because she didn't die or anything.

It was just me and Thomas the first time. It was a very small course but packed a lot of fun in it.

I'm not sure what makes me give about 1 billion "thumbs-up" when I am wearing a helmet. Odd.

Seriously. It looks like I'm busting out the Elaine dance.

Later we went back and Nolan joined in the carting festivities.

We even got to keep the ski mask things. I think I may need to use mine to wreak some anonymous havoc. They'll never know it's me in this thing!

There was also drunken, mentally unstable chic drama going on while Thomas and I were racing. Heather decided that her poor dad took her out of the group home for a nice day at the fair and she had a meltdown. I think that's the most likely scenario. It was so sad to see. She was throwing the biggest fit, and he was trying to get her into the car so they could leave and she wouldn't. He was being so nice and gentle, and she screaming and crying. He got her her the car and had to lock it so he could run around to the driver's side, unlock it so he could get in then lock it again so she couldn't get out. Once both of them were in she kept unlocking the door trying to get out. Her dad would keep locking it right after and she couldn't time it correctly. I guess that's one good thing about having your crazy daughter sloshed in the middle of the afternoon. Finally, she coordinated the unlocking of the door with the pulling of the handle and got out. Her dad sprinted out and around to stop her. He stood there holding her wrists while she flailed and screamed until the cops showed up. By the time we left, there were at least six officers, an ambulance, and a fire truck. Heather got some shots of the action while I carted.

They had her hooked up to monitors and everything.

She just needs to say "No" to crack!

(ha ha, get it? 'Cause you can see her crack and she acted like she was on crack! Again with the pun. Ha! I kill me!)

Sasha's Gourmet Kettle Corn is HOT and FRESH! I guess our Sasha is screwed if she wanted to open a kettle corn business...

Nolan and Heather made a new friend, Kathy, at the dutch oven cook-off. She was hardcore! And I think she has a convert to the IDOS (International Dutch Oven Society). I wouldn't be surprised if Nolan gets an oven tomorrow. Maybe he'll even open his own chapter of the IDOS. He could be the president of the B-DOG's (Beefy Dutch Oven Gang). Speaking of beefy, it was quickly apparent that dutch oven enthusiast and slender physiques don't commonly go together.

Kathy's dutch oven desert was the best out of all of them. I hope she got first place. She deserved it.

Everyone humored me and waited while I went to the petting zoo. There were tons of stupid kids that kept getting in my way when I was trying to play with the animals! :-P Seriously though, kids know where the best times are at. Me and the chillins loved it.

You could buy a cup of carrots to feed the animals for $1. I didn't spring for the food and thought I would rely on my personality to attract the animals. I should have bought the carrots.

However, I did make friends with the baby camel.

I happened upon and itchy spot behind its ears and it grunted at me and, for a moment, we were in love.

Once the itch had passed and it realized I didn't have any carrots, it was over.

The goats liked to think the tortoises were stepping stools for the feeding center. Poor turtles! I don't think they liked it. There was one that was hissing at all the goats as they passed until one almost stepped on its head and it had to tuck for cover.

The bunny got off easy and laid low in it's kennel.

There was an angora goat and an alpaca that were so soft and nice to pet.

I liked the pony and donkey too.

There was a goat or a sheep, I couldn't tell, with four horns! That's crazy.

Then we were off to see the livestock. I liked the cows with the big, fluffy ears.

I was impressed with this one's ability to chew on its own tail.

This pig really liked us. He's trying to get Nolan to pay attention to him here. He was fun to pet and made a funny grunt when I patted his head. I hope he didn't give us swine flu.

This little boy broke our hearts. He was in the pen saying goodbye to his sheep that had been sold. He told us their names and a little bit about them all while trying to hold back the tears.

Nolan was getting this ram all riled up. They liked each other I think.

They had a little Australia section. It mostly had Wallaroos and kangaroos but there were some birds too.

This is an albino Wallaroo. They are very rare and don't usually survive long in the wild because they have no natural sun protection.

This is a kookaburra. This is a cool bird. It's unique looking but even more unique sounding. I don't know if it was just this one, but they seem to have an attitude too. He would start squawking and peck at the kids if they tried to touch him or they got too close. I like them. They had a sign on their bird cages "Please don't feed our birds fingers."

There was a Wii game demo that we played a bit at. It was fun even though I was very good at any of the games.

I had a great time and will sleep well tonight.

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