Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Bachelor

My dad has recently charged me with the responsibility of choosing my next step-mom. Instead of taking on this great duty on my own, I decided to implore you for your aid. I must warn you, my dad's a pimp, so there are a lot of hot babes to choose from. (vote for your favorite(s)off to the right)

Bachelorette #1 - Chrissie
Chrissie likes taking long walks on the beach and playing with her dog, Yazo. She wants a partner who she can share her life with.*

Bachelorette #2 - Kathy
Kathy's idea of the perfect date is snuggling up in a flannel blanket by a fireplace and talking about old times. She also likes camping and hiking.*

Bachelorette #3 - Cricket
Cricket considers herself spontaneous and adventurous. Her hobbies include scrap-booking and painting. She's looking for someone who can make her laugh.*

Bachelorette #4 - Becky Jo
Becky Jo prides herself on her honesty and loyalty. She is happiest when she is in the midst of a few loved ones or curled up with a good book. She wants someone who she can be herself with.*

Bachelorette #5 - Melissa
Melissa thinks most people take life way too seriously. She likes to travel and try new things. She wants someone who isn't afraid to be themselves and let her do the same.*

Bachelorette #6 - Cathie
Cathie is quiet at first, but a regular "Chatty-Kathy" once you get to know her. She likes the simpler things in life. She believes there's someone for everyone and is looking for hers.*

Bachelorette #7 - Mary
Mary is the queen of any kitchen. She specializes in baked goods - they don't call her "Sweetie" just because she's nice. She loves to serve her fellow man and meet new people. She wants to find a companion she can grow old with.*

Bachelorette #8 - Paula
Paula is a no nonsense kind of gal. She knows what she is looking for and isn't afraid to go after it. She enjoys watching old movies and going on long walks to nowhere.*

Bachelorette #9 - Marsha
Marsha is a country girl at heart. She likes to get her hands dirty and wants a man who isn't opposed to doing the same. She grew up on a farm and really has a soft spot in her heart for animals and nature.*

Bachelorette #10 - Golfia
Golfia likes going to the movies and dancing. She's been known as a social butterfly on several occasions. She needs someone who can keep up with her and make her smile.*

Bachelorette #11 - Screwy
Screwy is a very vocal individual. He likes to sing to Doug when they are together. He also enjoys a good peck and scratch at the ground. Cracked corn is by far his favorite meal. He believes in love and first sight.

So there you have it - the lineup. Who will Doug give a rose to next week and who will go home empty handed? The choice is yours.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration, are entirely made-up by the author, and probably bear no resemblance to reality in any way, shape, or form.

8 comments:

Finding Joy in the Journey said...

Wow! The list just kept going and going. I think I like Kathy, but he seemed pretty comfy with Paula. I'm so excited to see how this pans out for him. :)

Ben and Kristen Johnson said...

So I am going to be a tad biased but I see it working with screwy...

Cerra Hawkins said...

Ha! You know, Kristen, I can't disagree with you. Screwy does seem like he'd be a great companion. Sometimes you've just gotta go with the safe bet... :-D

mamahawk said...

you have GOT to be KIDDING!

Sasha said...

huh? seriously? where did all these women come from? do they know they're being voted on? good luck to your dad . . .

Sasha said...

sorry, it must have been a glitch. hence the comment i left on fb. i am curious about the questions i asked though. fill us in a little more about what this all is.

Cerra Hawkins said...

It's just a good time, Sash.

Emily :) said...

Hahahahahahah!! Your Dad cracks me up!!! Paula is in the lead! :)