Sunday, April 20, 2008


To kick off my new exercise challenge, I thought I needed a new running outfit. This cute number features a pocket in the top and bottoms. I can't wait until it gets here! It's so cute and maybe, eventually, I can look as good as this girl does wearing it.I also ordered the sports bra that I have wanted for a long time, but didn't have enough money for back when I first heard about it and then forgot about. I usually have to wear at least 3 bras when I run, and even then it leaves much to be desired. At 3+ I have pretty good control, but can't breathe right. It's called The Last Resort Bra - and it is! It's really ugly and resembles a medieval breast plate, but it's guaranteed NO BOUNCE!!! I can't wait!

Thursday, April 17, 2008


My heart breaks every day
Whether you see it or not

I am a great eagle

Grounded by circumstance
Earthbound by situation

The little birds seem to mock me

With every flap of their wing
I never thought I would envy something so ordinary
It hurts to look up at them

So I often look at the ground

Once in a while one will come down to me

I love to ask them about the sky
I close my eyes to feel wind on my face
As they tell me what it is like
For a brief moment I forget that I do not fly

Some do not seem to understand what they have

Some even envy my position
I cannot understand this

Sometimes they let me touch their wings

They are much like mine
But I can feel the wind within them
Mine seem so hollow

You say one day I can go

But my tethered limbs grow weak
And my spirit becomes weary

I love you

But will you ever let me fly

Cerra Hawkins

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Run, Fat-ass, Ruuunn!

Dillon bought me a really cool scale over the weekend. I was way excited to try out my new scale as it not only tells one how much they way but also BMI, body fat percentage, muscle weight and hydration levels. How cool is that?!?!

When I got it home, I ripped it from the packaging and hopped on. I am not sure why I was so surprised at the results. I have not exercised regularly for a long time. I look and feel fatter than I ever had before, so it's only a given that I would be the heaviest I have ever been. Yet I was still shocked and dismayed. I will not share the specifics of the numbers so you will just have to trust me.

The scale that I had so briefly loved even more quickly became my worst enemy. I will embrace this hatred though as a form of motivation. That is another reason for this post. I normally would not share this embarrassment with the world, but I am hoping that this too will be a source of motivation. I am hoping for the pressure/support from you will get and keep me going. Just the fact that I am posting this gives me someone to answer to so to speak, so please don't feel like I am calling on you to post motivational poetry to me or anything like that.

My goal is to lose 44 lbs of fat. I cannot believe that I have that much to lose, but that's the case. I could (probably should) lose more, but I want my initial goal to be achievable and realistic. In turn I am hoping to increase my muscle weight.

I will update my running blog periodically with hopefully my - fat % and + muscle weight and, of course, my running. So next time you see me, holla, "Run, fat-ass, RUUUUNNN!"